Fathers need Support & Making Decisions

Hello. I’m Philip Athyal.

And I'm Marina Santee. Welcome to Spotlight. This programme uses a special English method of broadcasting. It is easier for people to understand, no matter where in the world they live.

Becoming a Father is very important. It is a big event in a man’s life. Many cultures see the Father as being the provider. He is responsible for earning the money. But research shows that Fathers also need to be involved with their children’s day-to-day life. Involved Fathers give their children a better start to life.

Just imagine the picture. A husband and wife sit in their beautiful house. The light coloured walls look clean and modern. They talk to each other over a drink. They tell each other about their days at work. They look calm and happy. After sharing a meal together they plan what to do next. It is a well-ordered life.

But the picture two years later is completely different. The house is not perfect. The husband and wife hurry around. They talk as they run between jobs. Their well-ordered life has now gone. The husband and wife still look happy. But they are also tired. They battle everyday with a lack of time and energy.

What has happened to create this change? Walk through to the other room and you have the answer. They have a baby. This baby is sleeping. His breathing is soft and quiet. Babies look innocent enough. But, a few seconds later, the peace and quiet is ruined. The baby is awake. His eyes are wide open and so is his mouth. He wants food and he wants it NOW.

Becoming a parent is a life changing experience. New parents need a lot of support. Most people give support to the mother. After all, normally she takes care of the new baby. But research shows that Fathers also need support. Their relationship with the baby is very important. Lancaster University in England carried out the research.

Professor Charlie Lewis led the research team. The team studied seven hundred international reports. These reports looked at the need for fathers in families. The reports came from all over the world. The researchers noted that it did not matter where the reports came from. The results were all the same. The children who had a good relationship with their fathers did better at school. These children also seemed to avoid crime and other problems.

Professor Lewis believes that Fathers need more support. He says that they have an important part to play. Professor Lewis believes that fathers have been pushed into just becoming providers. This is an important job. Families need providers. But Fathers are more than just moneymaking machines. Their day-to-day involvement with their children is important.

Adrienne Katz agrees. She works with the aid group, Young Voice. Young Voice did their own research about fathers and their children. The research involved a group of young boys. They asked one and half thousand boys about their home life. They also asked the boys about their thinking on issues like drugs and depression.

The results were clear. The boys who got along well with their fathers had more self worth. Most of them did not suffer from depression. They chose to avoid drugs. They were less likely to be involved in crime. They respected other people. These boys also wanted to do well in their work. 

David Barlett works with an Aid Group called Father Direct. He is not surprised by the research information. He says that people often overlook the importance of Fathers. He says that it can be very difficult for fathers. They have families that need providing for. This means that they often work long hours away from home. This is not always something that they can control. But they can control the little time that they do have at home. They can make sure that their little time is quality time.

David Bartlett wants to see more help for new Fathers. The help needs to come from many different places. Communities, families and Businesses can all do something to help. Fathers need support and help to balance work life and home life. It is a circle that Fathers can find very difficult to change.

Teacher John Maxwell had this problem. He was often away from home. He travelled around the world to teach people. His job took up a lot of his time. Often his family came second to his work. As a Christian, John knew that God wanted him to manage his time better. In the Bible John read about managing family life well. The Bible says that it is important to teach children right from wrong. Parents also need to make sure that their children treat other people with respect. The Bible says that parents need to set an example for their children to follow. But how could John be an example when he was never there?

The point came when John was asked to speak at a big event. He was asked to talk to over a million people in America. John was very happy. This was a great honour. But before John could take part in the event he had to go on a training day. Without the training, John would not be permitted to speak.

John was about to start the training. But then he got a message from his wife. The message said that John’s son was having problems. He needed his Father. What should John do? He knew how important it was to be there for his son. But John did want to speak at that big event. So John prayed. It was difficult but John knew that God was asking him to go home. So John left the training day and went to his son. The days that John spent with his son were important. They worked together to sort out the boy’s problems. A crisis was avoided. But something even more important happened that day. John put his son first. And his son has never forgotten that. It brought the family close together. The family became strong.

So what happened to the big event? Well, when the other speakers heard about John they voted to let him speak. As one of them said,

‘John did what the rest of us should do more often. He put his family first. It is so easy to avoid doing that.’

John knows how difficult it is to balance home and work life. This is not easy to do. It may seem impossible for some people. But John believes that we can bring these issues before God. He can help us to choose the right thing to do. John believes that God honours those who seek his will for their lives.

The writer of today’s programme was Elizabeth Lickiss. The voices you heard where from the United Kingdom and India. Computer users find our programmes on our website at www.radio.english.net. This programme is called 'Being a Father'. Thank you for joining us in today’s Spotlight programme. Goodbye.